the “First Post”

Back in January, I bought and set up the domain for a new blog, deciding that the prestigious First Post would be on the poetic difficulty & indecision of naming an unwritten work. Wittily, I would weave the parallel to life, observing that I found myself on the cusp of 29 with nary an idea of my life “title”. My writing and me – we both are unpolished, unfinished, wandering works. But apparently I’ve not fully accepted this truth, because I was unsatisfied with all attempts at explaining our need for maturity and improvement; heaven forbid that I let the the writer’s writing prove itself. So I eventually gave up for the ever-enticing “later.”

Then it was April. “Quarantine. What a prime time to get some blog posts done & cultivate a habit of writing,” I thought. Plus, next month was my birthday. The great First Post could be one of introspection and fresh starts. A clean reminder and declaration that, even if I’m really, practically, officially an “adult” now, I’m still tripping on my own shoelaces, trying to learn how to run the race well.

But once again, my stumbling, drafty words only left me disgruntled. Do you know the convicting irony of being unable to write imperfectly about imperfection? (Even as I type this, I groan at the sneakiness of my own arrogance.)

Thus came June. No longer would a post commenting on blog name deliberations be appropriate – how embarrassing that the web space had sat silent for 6 full months! Nor would a post on fresh beginnings work with the “next year of life” theme I had doodled thought to write about – my birthday had come and gone! So I began to write a First Post on procrastination, the crippling effects of perfectionism, and the understanding that doing an imperfect something is better than a perfect nothing.

Poetically, this third round of drafts never saw the light of day.

And now, my calendar tells me it’s August. Nine months into what should have been solid, blogging/writing discipline and improvement, but instead is only an empty, glowing screen. “Well begun is half done,” quipped Mary Poppins, but even poorly begun is better than never done.

So here it is: the First Post on my new blog. It may not be poetic, metaphorical, creative, or amusing, but it’s a start. A landmark. A place by which to measure time and, Lord willing, growth. Despite the fumbling words above, all I really have to say is

Welcome. Please excuse the mess. This work’s in progress.”

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